Once upon a time,
in the smokiest church
during mud season,
while hotel whistlers
and taxi horns
blew notes into the wind,
Signore Allegri looked
down from heaven
through roof, blue ceiling,
golden stars, and smoke.
He smiled as the sound
of the choir rose in greeting.
Because I do not hope
to turn and see quizzical faces,
in the choir, on Fifth Avenue,
or the commuter train
home from Grand Central,
because I cannot imagine a
more revolutionary, happy act
on the day of ash and dust,
because I look forward to such every year,
yet fear it was once, for all time,
as those best things often are,
Because I hope that time is always time:
enough time to finish the unfinished
yet remain open, playful,
loving, and compassionate -
I rejoice in all things, still,
and in all still things; and
I rejoice, having had two dots
and a curved line below them
placed upon my forehead,
in church on Ash Wednesday.
*Apologies to tse
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Saturday, February 7, 2009
25 Really Random Thoughts
1) One summer, I practiced flying by running from one telephone pole to the next, and then taking off and flying to the next pole. Then I switched to drugs, to see if that made it any easier.
2) When I was 12, I used to go to the Ross Nursing Home on Saturday mornings with TC, and we'd play and sing for the residents. I wonder whatever happened to her. Her momma took her outta public school because she got caught kissin' on a black boy. I thought they looked very cute together.
3) I was arrested at the Pentagon in the late 1970s for throwing blood and ashes (with Philip Berrigan and a group of students). I went to court and was found not guilty only because I thought to ask to see the evidence against me, which the arresting officer (Elliott) neglected to bring to court. I felt guilty about not going to jail for a long time.
4) I've just signed a contract to sell my house, so it's time to look for an apartment, some moving boxes, and a couple of strong men.
5) In the last three years, I've lost my grandmother Ana Maria, my dear friend and patron Anne, my job of 15 years, my partner of 17 years, and my house. Anybody want a dog? Or, will someone please turn off the spigot? It's amazing to me that I haven't really lost the first two. They pop up all the time.
6) I'm a Sagittarius with Aquarius rising. The rest of it looks like a whole lotta fire and no earth.
7) I totally love my mother. She's my favorite person on the planet. God reminds me of her: she loves me unconditionally and wants me to be happy.
8) I keep a running list of prayer requests, both in my head, in a journal, and on little scraps of paper. It all finds its way to my altar, which has an olive wood cross from Jerusalem, a Kuan Yin statue, a pine cone, a rock, a few shells, two votives and an offering bowl.
9) I played my first bar gig when I was 15, playing trumpet in a black top 40 band. Since then, I've played trumpet, hand percussion and backup vocals in disco bands, horn bands, and latin bands.
10) I sang in the chorus for the Mahler Second Symphony the last three times it was conducted by Leonard Bernstein.
11) My friends are incredible, I love them very much, and should probably tell them more often just how grateful I am for their generosity, and their ability to make me laugh at the world and at myself. I also appreciate that they don't freak out when I cry (I'm a big cryer). And, finally, I appreciate it when they let me blow off steam and continue to love me.
12) I love teaching people chants that help them manage their internal weather, and waken to their depth.
13) Love and compassion are the most important things in the world to me, and I hope to get better with practice.
14) One of my favorite lines from a hymn is : For the love of God is broader than the measure of the mind, and the heart of the eternal is most wonderfully kind.
15) I do sitting meditation regularly, and have just started going to a zendo to sit in community.
16) I began chanting and sitting around 1990 as a way to ground myself and deepen my spiritual life. It's working. I'm much more grounded these days.
17) I've made 6 CDs, written one book, and have an occasional blog that hardly anyone has read.
18) I once did LSD as a teen and watched myself trying to go to sleep, from the ceiling of my bedroom.
19) I shared a room with my sister as a kid, and I can still hear the sound of her breathing as she slept.
20) I love people, but am an introvert, and need time alone with a cushion, a book, a body of water, or a rock in a yellow wood.
21) I'm the most optimistic person I know. I have faith that "All shall be well."
22) I worry about money, but checks always show up in my mailbox. I also work like hell.
23) I have been a dishwasher, a chocolatier, a barista, a religious bookseller, a sexton, a house painter, a gas station attendant, and a babysitter (I've got Miranda and Guinivere Saturday at Noon - they're 9 months old).
24) I love digging in the dirt and will miss my garden most of all when I move next month.
25) My life's goals are to be the sweetest, most loving girl I can be, and to write music that helps people to be their most open, compassionate selves.
2) When I was 12, I used to go to the Ross Nursing Home on Saturday mornings with TC, and we'd play and sing for the residents. I wonder whatever happened to her. Her momma took her outta public school because she got caught kissin' on a black boy. I thought they looked very cute together.
3) I was arrested at the Pentagon in the late 1970s for throwing blood and ashes (with Philip Berrigan and a group of students). I went to court and was found not guilty only because I thought to ask to see the evidence against me, which the arresting officer (Elliott) neglected to bring to court. I felt guilty about not going to jail for a long time.
4) I've just signed a contract to sell my house, so it's time to look for an apartment, some moving boxes, and a couple of strong men.
5) In the last three years, I've lost my grandmother Ana Maria, my dear friend and patron Anne, my job of 15 years, my partner of 17 years, and my house. Anybody want a dog? Or, will someone please turn off the spigot? It's amazing to me that I haven't really lost the first two. They pop up all the time.
6) I'm a Sagittarius with Aquarius rising. The rest of it looks like a whole lotta fire and no earth.
7) I totally love my mother. She's my favorite person on the planet. God reminds me of her: she loves me unconditionally and wants me to be happy.
8) I keep a running list of prayer requests, both in my head, in a journal, and on little scraps of paper. It all finds its way to my altar, which has an olive wood cross from Jerusalem, a Kuan Yin statue, a pine cone, a rock, a few shells, two votives and an offering bowl.
9) I played my first bar gig when I was 15, playing trumpet in a black top 40 band. Since then, I've played trumpet, hand percussion and backup vocals in disco bands, horn bands, and latin bands.
10) I sang in the chorus for the Mahler Second Symphony the last three times it was conducted by Leonard Bernstein.
11) My friends are incredible, I love them very much, and should probably tell them more often just how grateful I am for their generosity, and their ability to make me laugh at the world and at myself. I also appreciate that they don't freak out when I cry (I'm a big cryer). And, finally, I appreciate it when they let me blow off steam and continue to love me.
12) I love teaching people chants that help them manage their internal weather, and waken to their depth.
13) Love and compassion are the most important things in the world to me, and I hope to get better with practice.
14) One of my favorite lines from a hymn is : For the love of God is broader than the measure of the mind, and the heart of the eternal is most wonderfully kind.
15) I do sitting meditation regularly, and have just started going to a zendo to sit in community.
16) I began chanting and sitting around 1990 as a way to ground myself and deepen my spiritual life. It's working. I'm much more grounded these days.
17) I've made 6 CDs, written one book, and have an occasional blog that hardly anyone has read.
18) I once did LSD as a teen and watched myself trying to go to sleep, from the ceiling of my bedroom.
19) I shared a room with my sister as a kid, and I can still hear the sound of her breathing as she slept.
20) I love people, but am an introvert, and need time alone with a cushion, a book, a body of water, or a rock in a yellow wood.
21) I'm the most optimistic person I know. I have faith that "All shall be well."
22) I worry about money, but checks always show up in my mailbox. I also work like hell.
23) I have been a dishwasher, a chocolatier, a barista, a religious bookseller, a sexton, a house painter, a gas station attendant, and a babysitter (I've got Miranda and Guinivere Saturday at Noon - they're 9 months old).
24) I love digging in the dirt and will miss my garden most of all when I move next month.
25) My life's goals are to be the sweetest, most loving girl I can be, and to write music that helps people to be their most open, compassionate selves.
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